Chasing Your Phone Down into Garbage Is Usually Where to Draw the Line

By Nick Ashooh

Everyone losing their phone. Admit it, at some point in your life you've dropped it either in a toilet, mud, on cement, or in a pile of dog shit. There's a certain point where you just need to realize the thing is gone, and cut your losses.

Unless, apparently, you're this guy.

A D.C. man decided it was better to try and chase his phone down a trash chute, got stuck, and needed the fire department to come save him. These are the types of examples of people that make it hard to understand how the hell they ever survived on their own, doing normal adult things.

According to Yahoo! News, Washington, D.C., Fire Spokesman Vito Maggiolo says the man was throwing out trash at his apartment building, when he thought he dropped the cellphone in the chute. Maggiolo says the man leaned in to check and fell inside.

Here's the most ironic part. Maggiolo says the man was able to call 911 from inside the trash chute around 3 a.m. Sunday, though it "wasn't clear WHAT PHONE HE USED".

So when they say this, are they telling us there's a chance there was MORE THAN ONE phone in the trash chute? Did someone hear him and hand him a phone inside the trash chute? Can't we assume he used the phone he went on a diving expedition to save?

I know we're glued to our phones, and you likely are right now, but if there was ever an example where you just say "screw it", I feel like this was the time.